Breathing: death, as part of daily life

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's difficult." Isaac Asimov

"Death is but a door we open and pass through" Targett

I met a woman yesterday who was seemingly startled when I spoke of death. There is a great deal of artwork at Mona that describes death, transitions, new life. We were speaking after such a tour. She had seen more setting suns than I have, and was (possibly) closer to the door than I. Though one can never tell, and I suppose this is part of the questions that we ask in life. How do we address the theme of death? When our whole body is "exposed to the Golden Wind" (Free Play) How do allow ourselves to transition between relationships, jobs, thoughts, dress sizes, emotions, birthdays, cities? Are we someone who hangs on, can't let go, or someone who is onto the next project without a second thought. I heard once that how someone leaves a conversation is how they leave things in much of their life. Do we wave goodbye long after the car has disappeared, are we still crying over long lost love, or do we transition so quickly we forget to thank the person who had served us at the deli?

Transtitions. They can promote rejuvenation on all levels for all senses. When it is done with grace it can be highly refreshing. Transitions mark our society: Some are celebrated and honoured, such as marriages. Some have been forgotten, such as a Levi-Strauss-esque pubertal Rite of Passage. So, how do we celebrate our transitions. I went through a period last year where I bought mini-champagne bottles,  and I would celebrate something at the end of each day that had happened. It was a profound way of acknowledging that it was a day to be celebrated, and a transition marked. Otherwise, many occasions would not be honoured. It allowed me to contemplate an achievement for the day, no matter how small, for in the marking, it allowed me to honour the significance for me.

We transition daily through many aspects of our lives: On and off public transport, in and out of our emotional heart, out of the past into the future and sometimes in the present. How do we find grace in our transitions? Some may feel as if we might never recover or make it throught the transition. It is well documented that most humans do not like change. We know this from our own experiences. Even is something no longer serves us, we may have a tendency to hang on to it, as it is familiar, however not entirely comfortable. Yet, as humans, we are highly adaptable to change. 

Breathing is a constant transition between the conscious and unconscious. Breathing can be a metaphor for receiving. How able are we to allow something into our being, our body, our psyche, and how are we in turn able to let it go? "Expiration" or out breath is also known as a little death. Do we fully exhale before we commence the new with an of inhalation? We get thousands of opportunities to explore this each day. A reason why mindfulness meditation is so fantastic, as we get on average 12 opportunities a minute.

Surrendering to the power of the exhalation, and deeply trusting that the new inhalation will arrive. Our new inspiration. Waking every morning, in the realisation that we have breathed unconsciously whilst we were asleep and then being "inspired" by the day to come. How often in a daily working week do we feel this inhalation as we arise in the morning? Sometimes it is the exhalatory sigh at the end of the day that we notice more. And indeed that could also be a metaphor for where we are in our lives, and what transitional aspect we are in: Have we made a change that feels amazing, or do we know that we need to make a change and have not done so yet. And for some it is the fact that they have been shallowly breathing all day.

According to Woodman, "Most of us keep our breath as shallow as possible because the eruption of feelings is too intense if we inhale deeply". How and why do we keep our breath shallow? It takes a great deal of effort to put in place such a controlled pattern of breath.

Now, I am not a fan at all of the words "breathe deeply" as I know it sets up all sorts of strange body patterns, known to trigger the adrenalin system when we raise our clavicles upwards. I use a great deal of visual imagery: I like a "long and low" breath invitation where we can allow our pelvis and belly to expand. If I say to a client that they are holding their breath, or not breathing, they usually reply with a "Of course I am breathing, otherwise I'd be dead!" The transition to the out-breath is one of release and surrender. It is a path that needs awareness and intention.

Helen Sharp from the BodyVoice Centre speaks of the capacity of the breath to be "curious about entering the body" I love this idea, and have felt it in myself that the quality of the breath changes deliciously. I have seen it in turn with countless clients, where the quality changes from gasping to allowing the breath in. 

Breathing also plays such a role with our  adrenalin system, and in as much our "nerves" Helen Todd in the novella by Amanda Lohrey states "And the nerves are also there because you get tempted to interfere all the time. There's this sense of trusting yourself and keeping out of your own way. No matter how good you become, you can still get in your own way".

How can we breathe, sing and perform all whilst getting out of our own way? Complex. I do not know the answer in its entirety. It is also dependent upon each individual, their history, their body, their emotions. One of the keys is the ability to surrender. To let go.  And then to receive the inhale. To be with all aspects of our body and our breath. To reside within the spaces between the inhale and the exhale. For there "by some alchemy, we drop into direct mystic participation in aliveness or being itself, which is beyond emotion, skill, thought or imagination" (Free Play)

Secrets of the voice

"The muse opens the throat and enables you to speak...It was so believed that the existence of things was not complete unless there was a voice to express it"  Helen Todd, Voice Coach.

A beautiful friend of mine, Catherine, sent me the book "Secrets"by various authors. In it is a novella called "The clear voice suddenly singing" by Amanda Lohrey. May I also say how wonderful it is to receive mail in the post. Such a delight to be so remembered in such a fashion. She had said that when she had read it, she had thought immediately of me.

"The clear voice suddenly singing"brought me to tears on first reading. The portrayal of the power of the voice, as well as how voice teachers can facilitate this connection to our own voice resonated immensely with me. "Some days my voice is so big it scares me". I too have made sounds that seem so enormous that it has made my whole body shake and tremble, almost as if it was going to explode like a fountain. Some of us use our voice in such a way when we are angry, or "seeing red" where our voice seems to take on a completely different timbre and open capacity (possibly to the detriment of those who may be in the vicinity).

It speaks of those who have not always had a voice, both metaphorically and physically; how they have searched to find their voice. This makes up a good deal of my client population. From the "little girl voice" and transitioning to a much larger vocal realm. It is a shift on many levels for people to get reacquainted with their voices. And the immense power we have when we communicate to another.
I regularly see with my clients who stutter, that upon improving, they sometimes do not know how to keep conversations flowing. It had been such an effort to expel even the basics of information that conversation for it's own sake is seen as true luxury: like the Queen Jewels, something they could not possess them themselves and looking at others with a mixture of envy and resentment. "How do they do it?" Indeed how do we. And why do we do it? What makes us do it?

Lohrey speaks of the muse in relation to the Greek myths. How we all need to have a muse. How this can be part of our song. "The singer experiences inner life as something (they) share with the world, not as something that sets him apart from it". (Stephen Schafer) So how do we find our song. The one that is uniquely ours. How do we find our own voice, the subtle, rich and glorious realms of our voice. Often I say to clients, that I do not wish them suddenly to be an extrovert, but that they may become comfortable with saying whatever it is they want to say, powerfully and persuasively, standing in what is true for them.

One of the other "secrets" is the discovery of how complex the voice is. Whoever has stood next to a flailing shower curtain knows how the curtain wants to stick to you, and that is the same way the vocal  cords connecting happens: The Bernoulli effect!

In the modern day of Reality Idol programs and such, there are many who think they can sing. Often, however they lack the appropriate technique that will carry them through big sings, 8 shows a week, concert after concert. "In some ways being a singer is like being an athlete: both are external expressions of who you are" (cited from Lohrey's novella) When I started Vocal Athletics in 2007 I had seen the voice as an athletic structure: an opera being like a marathon. How we take the voice to the highest realms and stay there. Prevent injury. Feel good. 

To be an excellent athlete, we need many factors: external and internal physicality, mentality, emotional strength and flexibility and faith in ourselves. There is a "Singer Personality Profile" which is interesting indeed (another time, perhaps). In 'The science of breath" by Yogi Ramacharaka he states that in the West we are paying a great deal of attention to the external muscles. "But in their enthusiasm, they must not forget that the exercise of the external muscles is not everything. The internal organs also need exercise". 

Breathwork, and singing provide excellent internal work. Our pelvic muscles can be "fit" with the breath and singing. The Transverse Abdominus (TA) is vital for supporting the breath for singing, as well as speech. We know when they are working if we have had such a big belly laugh that all our insides ache. Athletic on the inside and outside. I have seen many women who have had gynaecological issues or injuries as well as men who have had prostate difficulties present with reduced breath into this area. (Not always the only reason, of course) And hence, not as vocally powerful as they would like to be.

Often retraining the breath into this area and using the core muscles again can have a dramatic impact upon the quality of the voice, as well as the quality of the breath. An idea of toning the organs, likening it to an internal massage. One such client  had had an emergency Caesarian many, many years before, and had never breathed "down there" (her words) since.  With gentle physical and verbal encouragement, the breath fluttered gently into her lower belly, and so too did her tears. Her voice found a deeper resonance with less strain for the breath was able to reside in more of her. Interestingly too she had had stomach troubles since the Caesar: a sort of internal holding of the musculature.

Many speak of using the singing voice as a healing modality. That voice resonates where words cannot. It allows us to access that aspect of us which is primal and pre-verbal. A place where we can breathe easily. New born babies do this effortlessly: make sound, move, roll, breathe. And perhaps that is indeed the secret. How can we re-find that effortless aspect of ourselves? For there true athleticism, movement, flexibility, strength, endurance and freedom is likely to reside. 

xx