Hamam songs

The seven lights on the steamed dome roof seemed to call in the seven sisters of the Pleiades. We numbered seven in the room who were singing.

A while I was privvy to an evening of bathing decadence at some outdoor thermal springs in the middle of winter. The moon was waning, and the night sky was darkened. Cloudy at first, and later a glorious web of stars in the sky was revealed.

Might I say that it was not myself nor my 2 companions who started the sound. It was a group of 4 young people: 2 with booming bass notes and 2 girls who sat cross legged as if opening themselves up to the wonders around them with open throated "ahhhhh's". What gloriousness to be spontaneously creative. Was it also due to the dome, the curvature, the essence of water or of the slight vision altering of the steam that made it easy to commune and make sound with people not yet met. The unifying nature of the voice and sound was palpable and powerful. Together we made sounds that luxuriated, reverberated and rejoiced. Hearts full with beautiful intentions of making sound to fill the wondrous space around us.

"Sacred chants paid as much attention to the way the tone was reached as to the tone itself- just as a true lover considers the way he or she approaches the beloved as important as the act of love itself" Rudhyar

The joy of hearing others make sound. The pleasure of making reverberations  enhanced the beauty of the environment. New friends made, new joys shared.

I heard one of the girls say "As she sang... I felt my whole body release"

A special gift from above that said "People want to use sound to be happy, to release, to be social"

Freedom from the inner critic

"Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains" Jean-Jacques Rousseau

There is so much information these days on how to manage our inner dialogue. Through our favourite search engine, there are a multiple different strategies. Often our inner dialogue, especially if it is negative, can get in the way when we are performing, public speaking, or even speaking to someone new in a personal setting.

I have done a great deal of work with clients over the last year, especially for performers in the area of the inner critic. I have to observe it in myself as well, otherwise the critic can suddenly explode and can lead to overwhelm and confusion. That internal dialogue of negativity stops us from being open, expressive and at ease with ourselves and our body. It is sometimes the inner critic that usually tends to trigger our adrenaline system. I draw on principles of mindfulness, as well as performance psychology to arrive at the easiest and most successful outcome for those that I see.

When we criticise ourselves, we respond with feeling under attack and our muscles tense. It creates a defence by tightening and tensing muscles. For many I work with, this judgement sits in the mouth and throat area and tightens the jaw, tongue, lips, neck and throat. So when we are looking for an open throat and jaw free from tension to obtain a free voice, it proves to get in the way (to say the least).


"Why do lock yourself up in these chains? No one can change your life except for you" Wilson Philips

Indeed why do we have such a harsh critic? What stops us from being more gentle with ourselves, for forgiving ourselves? Some of the things we might say to ourselves are mean, or nasty, or untrue, or based on something that happened when we were much younger. I often have clients who say that it was their year 3 teacher that told them they could not sing, and they haven't questioned it since!The first step is to be aware of when and why we do it, without criticising ourselves (using many of the mindfulness techniques).Is there a way of getting out of our own way and altering the stress-tension pattern. 

Below is one of the most interesting ways to view "stress"that I have seen. "Stress"is a term oft used and over-used: many of us glorify being "busy". Are we more obsessed  with "outcomes" in our modern world? I read recently that perhaps all we need is one life changing idea and it would alter our life forever. I doubt it would come in if we were frantic and focusing on our lack of time.

"Stress-tension-release-relaxation
 Stress-tension-release-rela
 Stress-tension-relea
 Stress-tension-stress"  King

We are not generally in the habit of releasing, nor relaxing as a general rule in Western society. The art of relaxing and releasing is often lost in our busy world and certainly stating to someone that we have had a great time dreaming and daydreaming lately may be met with considerable disdain. Or a judgement of being lazy....or in some circles extremely lucky. Distractions  and addictions are more common, rather than "releases" and focusing inward and reflecting. We may find that during the week, or during a rehearsal period, we are either at maximum speed or passed out on the couch.  Have we lost the balance?

So, as we focus on the doing in daily life, without breaking the tension, the stress cycle continues to develop and the inner critic rejoices that we haven't stopped, so that we may be successful and productive. I often wonder about some of the young corporate individuals who come to see me, as they often are unable to see that their bodies have any level of "stress". They no longer even recognise that they need to release, and they look at me as if i am quite mad to suggest that they need to actively release, focus on themselves, their breath, become grounded and flow again. How can this co-exist in their life? Especially if they are working 16 hour days, as well as weekends. What makes us then stop? 

For a lot of us, if it remains unchecked,  stress and tension continue to build. For many of my clients it is their voice, jaw or breathing that is affected. For some, I feel that their voice is giving them a warning to address their vocal symptoms. And sometimes, we need to know that we inhabit a space internally where it is safe to let go. For many perfomers and those that are more sensitive, being in a supported space with someone else can allow the release to occur. Sometimes it can feel too big to do on our own, especially if the critic is playing a heavy hand.

Here is a great video on the inner critic as suggested by Joyce di Donato, famous classical operatic soprano. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=Mgb-kIZcOI4 She speaks of how everyone who performs has to silence that voice in our head that gets in our way. And it is great for any non-perfomers out there too. 

We have the capacity to tone our nervous system and our thoughts. We do not always have to be busy or stressed. We can learn to re-engage our calm nervous system (Parasymapthetic) We need to target our thoughts and our body and listen to them intently and with compassion. 

So some thoughts on finding more internal space:

How can we luxuriate more? How can we structure less?  How can we thank our internal critic for all it gives us, and then allow it to take a back seat and listen more to our inner voice? How can we give ourselves full permission to discover the walls that confine and bind us? For in that must led to increased freedom and ease.

When we are free mentally and emotionally and physically, then we can resonate vocally. Find flow again, find more freedom, in our voice and in our life.... xx

"The human voice is the organ of the soul" 
Henry Longfellow

Roses...the art of life

"Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?

Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,-

While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,

And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue" John Keats

It is that time of year when we transition into the cold and darkness of Winter. In the garden that signifies many things. Recently my dad and I pruned a multitude of rose bushes. Well he did, expertly, and I was his novice student. He is known for his beautiful roses at home.  My dad has a true green thumb, and spends many hours in the garden. I have been known to be not so handy in my garden travails allowing many a plant to meet an all too soon demise. So  it was with a newfound curiosity and desire to learn the art of green life. 

The pruning allowed us to observe the sound of the gentle rain in the garden. The quietude and stillness made this experience truly enjoyable, coupled with the crispness of the cooler afternoon air. Over the summer, the roses had provided me with hours of glorious scent, of delightful colour. Now, in the waning into true Winter, watching them take their final bow towards their ephemerality was true beauty.  It reminds me of the cycles of life and death, allowing the full nature of transformation to be present, from the arrival of the first blushing bud until the last of the petals fall.

I have been contemplating my new instructions to rose pruning and feel that these lessons may also apply to life. Surprisingly, over the past few weeks, I have given this advice to people who are searching for the ultimate rose pruning. Here are my dad's guidelines on how to prune roses, wonderfully advised in his gentle tone of voice, filled with patience.

Cut away the old flowers first.
Start with what you can see easily and cut them away.Take off the old roses, the leaves, in order to see beyond the wildness of the rose bush. Take time to look at the plant and see how it is structured, instead of being in the midst of the plant. Step back and have a look at it from all angles until you can see the whole of the plant and get to know it and what shape it might take.  
Not to be too hasty at the start when we haven't truly seen what shape it is we would like to develop. Give it the space to allow it to unfold. Being patient that it is the first step in the process and it may not yet be clear what to do next.

Cut away anything that is growing on the inside. We are looking to make the rose bush circular. 

Cutting away the branches on the inside. Some looked so lovely that I didn't want to cut them at first. They were not part of the roses plan to grow into its envisaged shape. Such as when things look beautiful on the surface, but they do not serve us anymore and we need to let them go. They are not for our highest purpose, and may lead us into thorny situations in the future.

Cut away anything that is crossing over into the middle of the bush.

This step entails cutting away that which has grown over what needs to be bare. Cutting a branch that will later interfere with the growth of a stronger branch...a healthier one. In modern times, we often have so many things going on, and not always enough time to have clarity on all that occupies us.  To cut away those things in life that cross us, that keep us "busy" and "doing" and that stop us from breathing and Being. "At this deep level we can then create the life we want especially when all of our "branches" are going in the right direction. We can harness and maintain our energy by being clear of what our intention is.

Prune to a third of its original size. Making a firm cut just above a new bud. This might seem a lot, but roses like a good prune (It might look harsh) They will grow back. And flower.

To me this last guideline is all about trust. A third? Really? It seems a lot. Apparently so. 
There has been many times in my life when I have "pruned" my life. Just after it is done, I have had a feeling of slight discomfort, tinged with regret: "oh, perhaps I trimmed too much-it looks so bare and empty". To me this stage is knowing and trusting new opportunities will enter a vacuum. The roses need it in order to grow anew. And amazing opportunities often replace what had been removed.

Winter is a time of introspection, of shorter days and longer nights. It is a wonderful time to observe what is going on internally and make changes that suit us on a deep level. We benefit from this time of introspection to gain clarity and scope out possibilities for the time ahead.

In life, we need to create space, especially if life feels too full. On a physical level, when we have an internal empty space, it can fill. The breath fully exhaled creates a vacuum in the lungs, creating room for the next inhale. We can then trust the new breath will enter into our body easily. We can surrender fully to this breath as it enters at a profound level.
When there is emotional space, it too creates room for the new, whether it be new romantic love, friends, hobbies, a new passion, or something old that is new again. We cannot always do this from a place of busy, overwhelm or overflow. Creating space for new growth. It is a time for searching what makes us happy and excited and what makes our hearts glad.
Space and release on a mental level is needed too. It is the basis of meditation and mindfulness. It is the clearing out of old thoughts, of becoming aware of what our thought space is doing. New thoughts can arrive, creating feelings of aliveness and inspiration. We benefit from this deep level of surrender. Of lettting go, and feeling into the next transition. Knowing that we will be supported. "Leap, and the net will appear".

Gardening together was a beautiful experience. Metaphorically, it is great to get a perspective on one's own life by a person we trust. Only we can make choices and decisions regarding our inner lives. However, discussion and advice can assist with how to "prune" ourselves in the best direction, and with the most amount of love.  

So in the midst of this chilly Winter, there is hope and trust for the Spring whilst acknowledging that it is still a deeply inward time... a feeling of waiting for the next growth to appear and to be filled by new delights. And the beautiful anticipation of the scent of roses filling the air with joy.

xx

Flow- in staying out of our own way...

“If I can get out of my own way,

If I can be pure enough,

If I can be selfless enough

And if I can be generous and loving and caring enough

To abandon what I have and my own

Preconceived silly notions of what I think I am

And become truly who in fact I am

Which is really just a child of the Universe

Then the music/sound/voice/flow/movements can really use me

And here lies my fulfilment

That’s where the flow starts to happen”

J.McLaughlin



This was my personal objective/mantra/aim for the concert on Sunday.....How to stay out of my own way. It was a feat. A triumph on a deeply personal level. It was a true testament to my mental, emotional and physical wellbeing as well as a deep trust in all that is. From all accounts it was a success. I received beautiful feedback, and it felt good.


Using all the strategies I speak of with my clients, I entered into the space calm, with minimal adrenaline, resting more with the nestles of the parasympathetic nervous system than in the popularised pep up of "go get 'em". I know I felt deeply connected to all that was around me, and felt definitively in the zone. I was connected to the breath, and to myself. I did not abandon myself once. I allowed myself to rest fully with my psyche, and the space I was residing in. The inner critic did not rear its ugly head, and the weight of judgement was nowhere to be seen within my heart. In that moment, I was completely blissed out, in love with all that was.


In this space, I know I could have resided for ever.

Thanks to all who came and supported me throughout my process. xx

Power of Ritual

"A ritual cannot be created; it grows in accordance with the need to make meaning" N.Hall

"Everything in nature, the sum total of heavens and of earth become a temple and an altar for the services of God" Hildegard Von Bingen.

Deep breath, Melanie Weidner, 2005

Ritual of 
coffee
naps
daydreams
meditation
goodness
generosity
eating
looking at the moon
stretching
dancing
singing
breathing
being...

Ritual heals and celebrates and brings the microcosm into relationship with the macrocosm. (Matthew Fox)  As I contemplate these ideas this morning, I am aware of how one uses rituals to make oneself at home to bring awareness and familiarity to the day. I awaken, look out the window at the day (today's sunrise was spectacular), stretch, breathe, remember my dreams,  put the radio on, put the coffee machine on, and on it goes. Some of these rituals are common to many, some are common to self only. A ritual can deepen when we do it consciously, according to Woodman. 

So I wonder if we keep up these rituals if others around us don't? How strong is our need for it? Are we able to miss a day? In ancient times, rituals were how we survived and gave meaning to life...honouring the seasons, nature, the weather.  We would have harvested at certain times, the animals would have been at a certain watering hole, the tides would have been at a particular level. These days, our rituals do not mean that we die if we do not do honour them. At least not on a physical level. Our biggest ritual may be opening a bottle of wine at the end of the work week.

I love ritualised experiences. I grew up feasting on religious ritual and song. Marius Schneider is an ethnomusicologist. He states that most public ritual is accompanied by music and song as it was in old. Even the football grand final has a musical prelude.  Rituals used to be secret. There were the rites of passage for both males and females. Even the alphabet used to be secret apparently. People still die to this day standing up for their religious beliefs and rituals. 

Tea tree lake, Sister's beach, Rocky Cape National Park, Tasmania

Deep feminine is about ritual, magic, eternity, altered states of consciousness, art, music, lunar cycles, intuition. Ritual is also the primary means by which people get their inner houses into order, both at an individual level and as a community. One of my friends spoke of a beautiful Sri Lankan ritual of allowing prosperity into a new house by over-boiling milk onto the stove. 

How do we set up our lives so we can honour the ritual of our lives? Our society rewards those who have "been busy" not necessarily those who have been deep in reflection without 'anything' to show for it. 'Daydreamers' and 'slacking off' come to mind. Often our modern life is, on the whole, highly structured. In the past, my creative flow has felt stifled at times by the rigid set up of modern day. How many of us would like some days to not face the world, instead finish writing that poem, or song, nap or daydream rather than head off to work. I know many creatives whose lives are mixed between "day jobs"  and a few sacred hours of inspiration at the end of the working day. In such a patriarchal society, the deep feminine, or creativity is not often revered. I had a client say to me recently "I thought what you did was B-S at the beginning, but now I know it works. You are awesome" Yes, breathwork and technique is magic. So is being aware of what we are doing. 

Hildegard von Bingen wrote that "authentic ritual helps us find our inner selves." Lately, I have been exploring the deep feminine in relation to caves. I saw a beautiful river that had etched its way through the honeycomb cave last week. It furrowed in unusual ways. The water had found a way through the seemingly impenetrable structure, little by little making a path for itself that was sustainable and which supported its flow. This would have taken hundreds and thousands of years to achieve. It reminded me that nothing is permanent, such in the Buddhist teachings and knowing on a deep level that all things change with time.

Honeycomb Cave, Mole Creek

That is how I feel I am restructuring my world at the moment. Etching out a new course. It requires more structure, but of the kind that supports me on every level, whilst giving the flow the space, and the breath, to move and change course. I am grateful for this new possibility. It also provides hope that the flow can be a force powerful enough to facilitate change through what seems rock-like substances. Something I perceive as dense and solid might shift with time and persistence of flow.  

Whilst in Vanuatu this year, a ritual unexpectedly arose. Routine combined with an unexpected aspect of song resulting in a magical experience. After an operation, unplanned, the whole medical team walked behind a patient's trolley, wheeling him back to the ward. There were many family members on the ward who were singing beautiful songs of their home and hearts. Their melodious voices floated up as if carrying us all on poop'ed wings. Returning their brother, son, child, future elder back to the tribe after surgery. It was a procession of sorts. A handing over. It was honouring, moving and greater than the individual sum of its parts. I was moved, and the occasion was marked as unique and special. A sign of the great feminine. The kind of experience that gives one body shivers. The power of ritual.

xx

Voice Mysticism: The Harmony of the Spheres

"The knower of the mystery of sound knows the mystery of the entire universe" Khan

Some train themselves to hear in the solitude, on the sea shore, on a river bank, in caves.... 

I bought a book a while ago, The Mysticism Of Sound and Music: The Sufi Teaching of Hazrat Inayat Khan. Several years actually, and since then it has been sitting on the shelf. I "randomly" opened a page today and found answers to questions I have been pondering all year. Right under my nose.  Clear answers. Clearly I have been in training.

I am exploring my sensory engagement to my environment, and associated issues with perception. I have been exploring the melodies that come by exploring natural structures. It is sometimes nudged by the etheric (almost above the tree tops) and sometimes it is the denseness of the physical environment, more like a Pranic energy. Inside the caves, sometimes there is a mixture of both of these.

Accoridng to Khan, abstract sound is called 'sawt-e-sarmad' by the Sufi's; all space is filled with it...the sound of the abstract plane, which Muhammad heard in the cave...Moses heard on Mt Sinai....Christ heard in the wilderness...Shiva in the cave in the Himalayas.

"Space is in the body and the body is in space". Almost like in the caves: being in the cave, and the caverns in the body. Paradox within paradox. Space within the space. Infinite. 98% of our body cells are empty space. 

Those who are able to hear the sawt-e-sarmad and meditate on it are releived from all worries, anxieties, fears, sorrows, diseases and the soul is freed from capitivity in the senses and in the physical body.

A shell, found on Bateman's Bay, possibly
 like the shanka, that awakens in man his
inner tone, his "inner song".

I went to a beautiful concert at the State Library of Victoria "Love and Devotion" back in March. It was on Rumi, one of the greatest poets of all time, in my opinion. It was presented as a combination of the Persian Flute, poems said aloud in both Farsi and English. Such a creative presentation. Exquisitely beautiful. Rumi states that he did not belong to any religion although he was Muslim. Persian poetry is highly symbolic, acting as a bridge that links earthly and heavenly images, spiritual and profane ideas. Shahnama of Firdausi is one of the songs. and so powerfully moving. 

Listening is active, hearing is passive. In his TED talk, Julian Treasure speaks of the concept of 'Sound Health'. (Check him out, there are several other great talks he does. I am a big fan) One of his comments is "It's when the birds stop singing that we need to pay attention". As I woke to the sound of chopping wood this morning, and the distinct absence of bird song, I was reminded of this. He urges us to consider listening consciously to the world around us. He also talks of "earlids" which i like immensely. Except that unlike eyelids, we cannot close our earlids when we do not want to hear something.

Marius Schneider is an ethnomusicologist  who coined the term "Acoustic Spirituality" and stated that all matter vibrates, and therefore everything in the world has a sound.

"The astronomy of the Pythagoreans marked an important advance in ancient scientific thought, for they were the first to consider the earth as a globe revolving with the other planets around a central fire.  They explained the harmonious arrangement of things as that of bodies in a single, all-inclusive sphere of reality, moving according to a numerical scheme.  Because the Pythagoreans thought that the heavenly bodies are separated from one another by intervals corresponding to the harmonic lengths of strings, they held that the movement of the spheres gives rise to a musical sound-the "harmony of the spheres.""
Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia 2000

In the  TED talk by Janna Levin, she speaks of how the universe isn't silent, but has distinct sounds and rhythms which is the sound of the planets vibrating. Just think, the big bang likely had a song! a description is that it is like a low banging on a drum. Perhaps the future of music is "Gravitational Tunes"? How can we listen to this? Open our ears more to that which surrounds us? What kind of equipment do we need? And because we can't hear it at our frequency, does that mean it doesn't exist ? And because we can't hear it with our ears, does it not impact upon our physical body? Sandra Selig says that there are "hidden rhythms and structures so that we can sense sound through the visual." Evelyn Glennie's aim is to teach the world to listen. As our accessibilty to sound has increased, how can we listen to music with our whole body?

So if everything has a sound, including the trees, caves, rocks, water, perhaps I can continue to make aural landscapes for these visual and kinaesthetic objects. So that they can be perceived on a multi-sensory and multi-dimensional level, and that I may be able to share with others such an aural experience that I perceive.

"We are ourselves works of art, and as we work to bring forward the art within us, we express our inner divinity" Julia Cameron.